Mate Poaching: A Field Guide

mate poaching + hunger games

It may be winter, but this year’s hunting season has already begun.

“Mate poaching,” or stealing someone away from their current partner to claim as your own, is not the answer to your happiness. It doesn’t matter how dreamy you think they are or that you “know” you are meant to spend the rest of your lives together. It doesn’t even matter that their current partner is horrible, doesn’t understand them, or have the time of day for them. None of those things matter. They are taken. Even if you were to poach them from their mate, they are not going to make you happy anymore than you’d be able to make them happy. The reality is that a person poached is more likely to cheat in the future, not susceptible to outside-initiated change, and is currently undeserving of your trust.

 

We all know the saying: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Is it always true? Maybe not. I, like most people, would like to believe that a cheater will realize they have been in the wrong and change their ways. But that’s not how it tends to go. More often than not, “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true. Sad, but true.

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What NOT to Compromise on in Relationships

when not to compromise

Relationships involve two different personalities finding away to come together. This involves compromise, and a fair amount of it! However, there are times you shouldn’t compromise –like when it comes to your identity. Making such compromises can make you feel uncomfortable, depressed, and taken advantage of. You should never feel like you need to compromise who you are to make a relationship work. If your partner does not love all aspects of you, then they are the wrong person for you. Here are some things that you should not be compromising on:

 

Your self-respect

Do not stay with someone who talks down to you, tells you what to do, or points out your every “flaw.” You are a human being, same as them, and you deserve respect. They are not “better than you,” “out of your league,” or even irreplaceable. The person you are with should appreciate and respect you. If they cannot offer you that, they do not deserve what you have to offer.

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Tips For An Awesome Double Date

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Going on a double date can be a fun and affordable way to mix up your date night routine. In fact, a double date can strengthen your relationship. For starters, you’ll get to tell some of your favorite stories again (like how the two of you met) without anyone yawning. You’ll be reminded of how great your partner is at telling stories and get to see them from a new perspective. Plus, a double date is a good excuse for the two of you to get dolled up since the two of you obviously dress to impress.

So are you ready to see what a double date can do for your relationship? Here are a few tips to have a successful night out with another couple:

 

Choose a good couple to go out with.

They don’t have to be perfect, but there are a few things you should keep in mind when deciding who to double date with. The ideal couple would be at a similar stage in their relationship. At a minimum, you or your partner should know one half of the couple fairly well. It’s even better if both couples know each other (at least in passing) so you can skip the formalities and get to the fun. Look for a couple whose relationship is one you admire or who are at least up for having a good time. Continue reading

7 Signs You Are in the Right Relationship

True love

We all think we know what the “right” relationship looks like: It’s endless fun, you make each other happier, and bring out the best in one another. While these are all signs of a good relationship, being in the right relationship is more than that. The right relationship is one that you can see yourself in for a long time (maybe even forever?) and, honestly, it is not all smiles and sunshine all the time. So how do you really know when you are in the right relationship? Here are 8 signs that you’ve got more than just a good thing going:

 

1). You treat each other as equals…because you are equals.

Your relationship should function like a team of two. That means both people in the relationship are important. When you’re in the right relationship, you truly feel appreciated and the give and take ratio feels in place (your partner doesn’t just take and you’re not always the one giving). When big decisions have to be made, you sit down as a couple and discuss things until you come to a decision together.

 

2). Both of you have the same vision for the future.

While the two of you have different life goals, you have the same big picture in mind. You have talked about where you both want to be as individuals and where you want to be as a couple. This ranges from emotional growth to geographical location. Planning a future together shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable. It should feel natural and make you both excited about what is in store. Continue reading

Seeing Your Ex With Someone New

Seeing Your Ex With Someone New

There comes a time after a break up where you think you have finally moved on. Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t quite gotten there yet and then WHAM! You see that your ex is dating someone new. Whether this knocked the wind right out of you, brought up a pool full of memories of the good times with them, or made you cry for 20 minutes straight, you’ll have to learn to accept that your ex has moved on. This can be a particularly daunting task if you find that you are not ready to move on yourself, but there are ways to learn to accept the fact that your ex has moved on and even embrace your brighter future without them. Here are a few of them:

 

Know that it really is for the better. The two of you were unhappy in your relationship for a reason. Remind yourself of that. It is easy to get wrapped up in the good memories and forget the fights, infidelity, being taken for granted, or what have you. I’m not saying to forget all of the good parts of your relationship (you should definitely hold onto those), but you do need to keep things in perspective. Your relationship was not perfect and it was time that the two of you part ways. One day you might find that you’re actually happy for them, or at least happy that the two of you are not together anymore. Continue reading

5 Signs You’re Too Dependent

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It starts with wanting to get to know them, to see them, to spend time with them…and before you know it you have lost sight of who you are and everything is about your significant other. You are now in the danger zone of dependency!

Wondering if you have crossed that line or if you are on the path to doing so? Here are 5 signs that you have an unhealthy dependence on your significant other (and resolutions for all of your ailments):

 

You feel lost without them.

It is normal and perfectly healthy to want to spend time with your significant other and miss them when they are not around. What is NOT healthy is when you don’t know what to do with yourself when they are not there. If you find yourself lost and miserable without your significant other around, you are too dependent on them.

Resolution: Find ways to make yourself happy. Hang out with your friends more or pick up a new hobby. Do the things you like to do and you’ll find that you are no longer entirely dependent on your partner for your happiness (or for something to do). Before you know it, time apart from them is entirely manageable and, more importantly, fun for you! When you have healthy time away from your partner, you’ll appreciate each other even more.
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Are you too clingy?

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Everyone wants to feel wanted, but being clingy is a whole different level. It is giving a person so much of your attention (hint: all) that it has become an unhealthy obsession. Clingy behavior can be exhibited in anyone of any gender at anytime, but it has to stop (for your own sake as well as theirs). Here are some signs that you are being too clingy:

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