Ace the Approach: Talking to Someone New

meeting new peopleApproaching a stranger can be nerve-wracking. You might make a fool of yourself by stumbling over your words or they might flat out reject you. So why bother going through with such a daunting task? To reap the rewards of course! You’ll never meet someone new if you never approach them. Remember, feelings of embarrassment or rejection only last a moment. The horrible “what if” that plants itself in your stomach and blooms into your mind can haunt you for a lifetime.

That being said, your approach has to be strong. After all, it is someone else’s first impression of you. You want to be remembered for something positive, so make sure you do the approach well. Here are some tips to acing the approach and getting one step closer to finding real love:


Act confident.

Even if you are a nervous wreck, take a few deep breaths and try to act confident. You are just going to talk to another person. It will be okay. Tell yourself in your head that you are confident and you’ll find that you might just be able to trick yourself into confidence.


Body language says a lot.

Know what your body language is saying before you make your approach. Unclench your fists, trade your grimace for a friendly smile, and walk with your head up and shoulders back. Remember, you are trying to ooze confidence here, not let them know just how uncomfortable you really are.

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Make eye contact.

People know what they are talking about when they say it is in the eyes. It is always in the eyes, and this is no exception. Note: this is not time for the creeper stare from across the room or any variety of glaring.


Have manners.

When you make it over to them, be polite! Offer a greeting (even if it’s something like “excuse me” or even just “hello”) when you are first approaching people. With a little practice, you might be able to add more flair to your introduction. But keep it simple when you are just starting out. Your goal is to sound natural and confident. Worrying about needing to be witty or over-thinking things adds pressure to the situation.


Try out a compliment.

It’s hard to reject someone who compliments you. Do you like their laugh? Do they have an awesome smile? Is their dog super cute? Compliment them. But don’t stop there! A compliment allows someone to warm up to the idea of you but, unless you plan to just walk away after dropping a compliment bomb, you have to say something else. What better to follow a compliment than a question? “You’re dog is so cute! What kind of dog is it?” “You have an amazing smile! Has anyone ever told you that you look a little bit like Taylor Swift?” “You have a great laugh! Are you having a good day?” A compliment followed by a question will naturally flow into a conversation.

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One more thing!

Don’t forget to get their name! After you have been talking for a little while, find a time to ask them what their name is. Names are a big part of establishing familiarity with people and it shows someone that you care about them as an individual. Get their name and remember it. A trick: sprinkle their name throughout the conversation and you’ll find that it is easier to remember.


If at first you don’t succeed?

Even if your approach game isn’t strong the first time around, don’t give up! Don’t be afraid to try again. There will always be other nights and other people. With some practice you will ace the approach in no time



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