We all think we know what the “right” relationship looks like: It’s endless fun, you make each other happier, and bring out the best in one another. While these are all signs of a good relationship, being in the right relationship is more than that. The right relationship is one that you can see yourself in for a long time (maybe even forever?) and, honestly, it is not all smiles and sunshine all the time. So how do you really know when you are in the right relationship? Here are 8 signs that you’ve got more than just a good thing going:
1). You treat each other as equals…because you are equals.
Your relationship should function like a team of two. That means both people in the relationship are important. When you’re in the right relationship, you truly feel appreciated and the give and take ratio feels in place (your partner doesn’t just take and you’re not always the one giving). When big decisions have to be made, you sit down as a couple and discuss things until you come to a decision together.
2). Both of you have the same vision for the future.
While the two of you have different life goals, you have the same big picture in mind. You have talked about where you both want to be as individuals and where you want to be as a couple. This ranges from emotional growth to geographical location. Planning a future together shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable. It should feel natural and make you both excited about what is in store.
3). You and your significant other are open and honest with each other because you value each other’s trust.
You want to be with someone who tells you the truth, regardless of what that truth may be. More importantly, they should want to tell you the truth because you offer them that as well. A relationship built on secrets and lies will not last. The right relationship is the one in which you can be vulnerable around each other and know you won’t end up regretting it. This is how you build and keep trust –an essential part of any relationship. In the right relationship, there is no need to keep tabs on your significant other and you are able to respect each other’s privacy. Strive for this in any relationship and, once you have it, do whatever you can to keep it.
4). The two of you are able to communicate effectively, even if one of you doesn’t like what the other has to say.
Life promises to bring you both a great deal of ups and downs, and you need to be able to talk about them together. You and your significant other do not need to agree on everything, but you do need to be able to respect differing opinions. After all, you are in a partnership. If you cannot talk to each other, you are not going to be able to grow together. In the right relationship, you are able to talk about anything and everything.
5). When you fight, you both fight fair.
Every relationship runs into conflict. If the two of you don’t have a healthy way to deal with conflict (i.e. talk to each other respectively and hear each other out), then you will find your relationship on a downward spiral. This does not mean that either of you should pretend conflict doesn’t exist. Fighting is, and always will be, a part of relationships. It’s how you deal with the conflict that determines the longevity of your relationship. When you have to fight, fight fair. As a result you’ll find that your relationship flourishes even in times of conflict.
6). They prove that they love you.
Saying “I love you” is just one part of the equation. You will know you are with the right person when they not only tell you, but they show you as well. This means different things to different people. It takes different things to make someone feel loved, and it is up to you to realize what exactly it takes to make your partner feel loved just as they know what makes you feel loved.
7). You don’t want (or even try) to change each other.
Yes, you are a couple but you are also individuals. The right relationship is one where you are able to maintain your own identity while still being in a partnership. Your significant other knows this just as well as you do and is able to appreciate you for who you are as a person. As individuals you have your own hobbies, friends, interests, etc. that your partner knows about and expresses interest in but doesn’t always need to be a part of. You both support and promote each other’s personal growth accordingly. Embracing yourselves as individuals and having a partner who is a fan of you being you will lead to a longer, healthier relationship that you’ll know for sure is the right one.
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