In a fairy tale, finding the right person for you is easy. They sort of just fall into your lap and you live happily ever after. In reality it is much more difficult. Finding a person you want to pursue a relationship with (let alone someone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with) is a whole process. This process involves a lot of dating.
Sometimes during this dating period you realize that things won’t work out with this person for one reason or another. So how do you tell them without hurting their feelings? Here are some things to keep in mind when it comes to telling them that you are no longer interested:
Don’t just fade.
You might justify this as a good idea by saying it’s best for you both if you just disappear, but we all know it’s not. You’re not saving anyone’s feelings or keeping them from getting hurt. In fact, this is actually how you end up hurting them more. Don’t wait for them to “get the hint” by just ignoring their calls, texts, emails, and skywriting. Do them the favor of actually telling them you are not interested. Give them closure.
Be mature about it.
Tell them. It’s only as big of a deal as you make it out to be. If you act like an adult and expect them to act like an adult, then you both will be able to make an exit without any emotional harm to either party.
Think about how to tell them.
The way you communicate your disinterest does matter. If you’re a few dates in at this point, the best way to go about it might actually be a phone call. An email (or online message) is the next best thing. Texts follow behind that. One way not to tell them: having someone else do the task for you. Remember, you’re both adults here. Tell them in a private setting and move on.
It’s all about the tone.
Let them down easy. Remain kind and calm when you tell them. Always be polite.
Refrain from cliché.
The whole “It’s not you it’s me” thing isn’t helping anyone. In fact, it’s kind of insulting because it is so cliché. You’re better off not saying anything than resorting to tired lines. You’re not doing anyone any favors with them. When in doubt, keep it simple. Just tell them you are no longer interested.
Read the situation.
You’re probably the best judge of how much is too much when it comes to telling them you are no longer interested. Some people will want to know why and other people will just want to move on. Tell them as much as they need to hear and then call it a day.
Stand your ground.
Be honest about your feelings and stick to your words. Don’t let the other person try and talk you into a relationship or continuing things if you know you are not interested. You will end up making yourself miserable and will only hurt them more in the long run.
When the conversation is over, move on. Just because things didn’t work out with this person doesn’t mean that the right person for you isn’t out there.
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#breakup #dating #notinterested