There comes a time after a break up where you think you have finally moved on. Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t quite gotten there yet and then WHAM! You see that your ex is dating someone new. Whether this knocked the wind right out of you, brought up a pool full of memories of the good times with them, or made you cry for 20 minutes straight, you’ll have to learn to accept that your ex has moved on. This can be a particularly daunting task if you find that you are not ready to move on yourself, but there are ways to learn to accept the fact that your ex has moved on and even embrace your brighter future without them. Here are a few of them:
Know that it really is for the better. The two of you were unhappy in your relationship for a reason. Remind yourself of that. It is easy to get wrapped up in the good memories and forget the fights, infidelity, being taken for granted, or what have you. I’m not saying to forget all of the good parts of your relationship (you should definitely hold onto those), but you do need to keep things in perspective. Your relationship was not perfect and it was time that the two of you part ways. One day you might find that you’re actually happy for them, or at least happy that the two of you are not together anymore.
There is no need for you to be friends or follow each other on social media if you aren’t ready to see them move on. It can be hard to see them find happiness with someone new, especially if you are not happy about how things ended. Fact is, it is likely that you will end up seeing a lot of posts of them with their significant other and all the mushy, cute things that used to be for you will now be for someone else. If you’re not ready to see all of that, it might be a good idea to part ways on social media (at least for a while). There is no need to torture yourself.
If you’re still in contact (or at least friends or following each other) on social media, don’t be the ex that leaves vague comments on pictures they post with their new significant other. It’s childish and causes unnecessary drama. Just give them their space and expect that your ex will do the same when the tables are turned.
Don’t use their change in relationship status as a reason to confront them or reach out. In general, do not react –especially if you’re upset they moved on. I mean it. Even if your break up occurred less than a week ago, be the bigger person and walk away. Trying to talk to them about it, especially if you’re trying to express that it wasn’t appropriate for them to move on so soon or to talk about why the two of you broke up in the first place, is likely to lead to an argument, if they even reply at all.
Speaking of reaching out, under no circumstance should you reach out to their new significant other. You might tell yourself you’re just being nice, but it will never come across that way. Even if you’re trying to tell them that your ex is a cheating bed hog who eats with their mouth open and snores even when they’re awake. Remember, you were dating this person at one point too, so there must be redeemable qualities about them and just because they acted one way with you does not guarantee that is the way they are now. Long explanation short, you’re not doing anyone any favors by reaching out. Keep your distance and, in turn, keep your sanity.
Don’t feel like you need to go and find someone to call your very own just because they moved on. Remind yourself that you will move on when you are ready. Being the first one to dive into a new relationship does not mean that they are better at this whole dating thing than you or that they are more likeable or whatever. You will meet new people and move on when you are ready. There is no need to rush into something you are not ready for. Remember, you have a lot to offer and one day you will find someone who appreciates that with their whole heart. Wait for that person.
It might take some time, but you will realize that you and your ex were not meant to be. Hold onto the good times you had together and accept the fact that you cannot hold onto them. Work on finding what will make you happy in life and let them do their own thing. You’ll both be better off for it in the end.
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