So you’ve found someone you are into. Maybe you’ve been into them for a while now and you’re not quite sure what’s going on other than that you are…well, waiting. Well wait no longer! Here’s how to get from acquaintances all the way to and through that first date:
Build the foundation.
Flirt. Flirting, whether via words (especially compliments) or actions (like a light touch on the arm), is one way of letting someone know that you are into them. However, flirting isn’t always clear. Sometimes it’s missed altogether and other times innocent actions are misconstrued.
Have meaningful conversations. Show the person you are interested in that you are actually interested! This is more than flirting. Listen to what they are saying and ask follow up questions. Show that you value what they have to say.
Who should ask who out?
Someone needs to make the first move. Regardless of your gender, who texted who last, what your bff’s bf’s bff thinks you should do, or if you are sure they are going to make their move any day now, you should make the first move. Why not? Aren’t you sick of waiting for them to do it? What if they are waiting for you? Are you okay with you both just waiting around long enough to miss out on the possibility altogether? Didn’t think so. Be bold. Be brave. Make the first move and ask them out already.
Ask them out.
Keep it casual. You don’t have to label everything a date. Instead of asking them if they would like to go out with you, invite them along to a specific, informal plan. If there’s a movie you’ve wanted to go to, see if they are interested in going with you. New restaurant in town? See if they want to check it out. Know of a good happy hour special? Hit it up! People are inclined to say yes to plans that sound fun and pressure free.
Avoid anything too romantic. Especially if you are still getting to know each other, romantic first dates can be somewhat awkward. Opting for quiet setting is fine, but maybe skip scattering rose petals at their feet and serenading them in front of the moonlit swan lake. Remember, you want things to be comfortable and pressure free for you both. This is a chance to get to know each other and have fun together, so make sure you’re doing that!
So the date went well: Let them know you had a good time. Don’t worry about who is “expected” to contact who first after this initial date or how much time you’re supposed to wait. If you had a good time, don’t be afraid to tell them! This is the only way they will know for sure that you are interested in the possibility of going on another date and seeing where this all could lead.
So things could have been better: Figure out if you are interested in giving it another shot, but don’t be timid about letting them know if you just aren’t interested. Be respectful and let them know that you don’t see a romantic future between the two of you. Tread lightly but be clear. You can’t fault someone for being honest about how they feel.
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#firstdate #dating #relationships #flirting