Maintaining Friends While Dating

 

iStock_000029694782LargeSituation #1: Your friends say you spend all of your time with your significant other

Problem: Your friends are feeling neglected!

Solution: Learn to balance your time with friends and your time with your significant other. Your friendships are just as important as your relationship and should be treated as such. Make sure they don’t feel kicked to the curb when you start seeing someone new. Friends are not just people you hang out with until you find someone new to date. Make a point of making plans with them regularly and actually giving them your undivided attention (aka stop texting your SO, put your phone down, and actually listen to what they are saying). They will feel like you actually care about them just as much as your SO even if you don’t hang out with them quite as often.  6572328233_f25ea5acd1_o

Situation #2: You have not met your S.O. friends even though they have met your closest friends

Problem: You feel like your S.O. is embarrassed of you or has something to hide.

Solution: Talk to your significant other about how you feel! Maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you haven’t met them yet.

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Situation #3: You invite your SO along to everything you do with your friends but they don’t invite you along to all of their friends

Problem: You feel like your SO doesn’t want to spend all of their time with you

Solution: Accept that your SO does not want to spend all of their time with you (or maybe they do but they realize that’s just not healthy for either of you). Be grateful for the times you are invited to hang out with them and their friends and don’t be bitter about the times you aren’t invited. Recognize that both their group of friends as well as your own group of friends would likely want one on one time with their friend rather than always feeling like a third wheel. Spend some quality time with your friends without your SO and you’ll appreciate why they’d want the same with their friends.

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Situation #4: Your SO complains that you spend a lot of time with your friends or that plans with your friends seem to appear out of nowhere

Problem: Your SO feels neglected or that you are avoiding them

Solution: Communicate with your SO! Tell them when you have made plans with your friends and have them do the same when they make plans with their friends.

Happy friends on a party

 

Situation #5: Your SO spends a lot of time with friends of the opposite gender

Problem: You feel uncomfortable about your SO’s friendships

Solution: Get to know your SO’s friends! It’s all right for your SO to have friends of the opposite gender. In fact, it’s normal. Problems arise when you feel threatened by these relationships. Get to know their friends and get a better understanding of their relationships outside of your romantic one. Still concerned? Maybe there’s reason to be. Communicate your concerns with your SO. Talking about a problem is an important part of understanding it.

 

Having a different problem about maintaining friends while dating? Comment below!

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#dating #friendship #relationships #love

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