You and your significant other have talked about moving in together for a while and you have worked out all the details. You know what color the walls are going to be, where the dog will sleep, the foods that’ll always be on hand, falling asleep in each other’s arms every night…but have you thought of the bigger (possibly less-exciting) things? Here’s a list of some things you and your partner should think (and talk!) about before moving in together:
As un-romantic as it is, cost is one of the most important things to consider before moving in with your significant other. You want to have as even of a split as possible when it comes to rent, utilities, and things of that nature so that this doesn’t put a strain on your relationship (i.e. the person paying less feeling guilty or the person paying more making them feel that way). On top of that, you want to keep in mind groceries (as you’ll likely be sharing all of your food) and cost of furniture you might need to furnish your new abode. You want to make sure that you are both on the same page (and entirely comfortable) with how the finances will be handled.
Where you and your significant other choose to live geographically will likely depend on where you two work (respectively), neighborhood preferences, and other things like where family and friends live. Try for a place that won’t put too much strain on either of your commutes.
Thinking about moving into your SO’s current place (or the other way around)? While that’s obviously an option the two of you have, it may not be the best one. If you’re moving into their current place, it will kind of feel like you are invading upon the life they have already established. Make sure your SO realizes that they have to make room for your things there as well as entertain the possibility of things being rearranged. After all, it is no longer just their place but rather the home the two of you share together.
Depending on your living arrangements before moving in together, the two of you might suddenly find yourselves with two sets of, well, everything. Or at least most things. Before you move in together, figure out what you are willing to part with if necessary. Have your partner do the same. Talk about it. Maybe neither of you are particularly attached to your couches but the resale value between the two of them could get you two the sectional you keep talking about. What it boils down to is that the two of you need to figure out how you are going to deal with the overlap of belongings and plan accordingly (ideally before you move the duplicates into the new place only to realize you left no walk room).
There are some cons to living together that need to be considered that are especially important to think about if you haven’t lived with someone else before (or haven’t lived with a romantic partner before). Are you ready to unveil some less-appealing qualities your partner has? What if they leave the seat up constantly? Don’t replace the TP roll? Can’t manage to get their dirty clothes into the basket? Don’t believe in doing laundry? Can’t manage to roll the toothpaste tube? Can only manage to get their dirty dishes in the direction of the sink but never actually in the dishwasher? Their molding-food science experiments? You get the idea. Think before you leap.
Just like when you weren’t living together, you both need to give each other personal space.
This means physically giving your partner time to themselves (or for them to hang out with their friends). While it is easy to hang out with your significant other all the time (because, hey, they are literally right there), you both need to take time for yourselves to either get what you need to do done, hang out with your friends, or even just to relax.
This also means that they need their own space in the place you share together. It’s more than just giving them a drawer or a sliver of your closet now. It’s about going halvezies (and trying to understand that your partner might need more than their share of the closet, bathroom cabinet, shower space, etc.)
Potential Break Up
It’s not fun to think about, but what if the two of you decide to call it quits? Who is expected to move out? Are both of you moving out? Who “owns” what from the things (like furniture) that you bought together? These are all things you want to address with your partner before moving in together.
Is that all?
Don’t let the conversation stop there if you feel like there are still things to consider! Make sure you are both level headed and comfortable about moving in together. Address any concerns now and moving in together will be an even more blissful (and successful!) experience.
#moving #relationships #livingtogether #love