After a break up, it can be tempting to jump right into your next relationship –even if you might not actually be ready for it. Before diving in, take a breath and truly think about whether or not you are ready for something new. Here are a few signs you might not be ready just yet:
You find yourself keeping tabs on your ex via social media, shared friends, newspaper clippings (wait, do people read those still?), and by any other means. If you are this eager to figure out what your ex is up to, you are not ready to be in a relationship with someone new. This need to know everything about your ex even though you are no longer together is a sign that you have not moved on and, therefore, have lingering feelings you need to sort out before you are ready for someone new. (Read: https://heyyapp.wordpress.com/2014/07/09/signs-you-are-not-over-your-ex/)
Going off of this idea, if you find yourself constantly talking about your ex you are also not ready to move on. No one wants to feel like they are going to be compared to your ex or hear about all of the great times you two had together when they are trying to start something new with you. Save yourselves both the trouble.
Time management is already an issue for you…possibly even the cause of your last relationship failing. If you find yourself constantly busy with work, friends, family, organizing parades, saving pandas, brewing beer, bird watching…then you might not have time to give to someone new, and that can only end badly for you both.
It’s all about sex. Don’t enter into a romantic relationship with someone just for sex when you know that the other person is looking for something more. Talk with your potential partner about what you are looking for and make sure you are on the same page.
You spent all of three and a half minutes being single. Take the time to get to know yourself as an individual again…you know, outside of couple-hood. Find yourself and regain your footing before you fall into a relationship you might not be ready for. This time is critical for recovering from the loss of an ex (regardless of the reasons for the break up or who initiated it) and for adjusting to life without this person who was once your best friend. Fill that void with your friends (as well as being your own friend) before you fill it with your next relationship.
You like the idea of dating around and are not certain you can commit to just one person. If you’re not ready to commit to someone, don’t. It’s as simple as that.
You are unsure of who you are, or feel like you don’t like who you are. To love someone else, you must love yourself first.
Ultimately, you should sit down and really think about your motivation for wanting to get into a new relationship. Is it because you want to have a life with this new person? Great! If not, you might want to take a step back. It’s okay not to be ready to move on just yet and it is better to admit this to yourself before finding yourself in a relationship you weren’t ready for where one (or both of you) ends up hurt.